BETROTHAL CEREMONY AT MONT GAFULA

This young man is on his way to a betrothal ceremony. We were invited by his older brother, Stake President Lono. We drove the young man along with his godfather Da Tarr to Mont Gafula to meet the family and negotiate the dote and deliver the gifts asked for by the family.

These are some of the gifts for the mother and father of the bride to be in the back of our truck.

The road there is challenging. We stopped at the Chapel where the first photo was taken to wait for other guests to arrive. Because of traffic everyone arrived three hours late.

There was a  bit of mud on the way to the house.

Then we had to hike a kilometer.

Down some treacherous areas shored up with sand bags held in place by bamboo stakes, well worn.

Crispin, the maintenance/janitor at the GB S & I building was invited. He introduced us to his wife.

The courtyard outside the home was decorated and the wall freshly painted for the occasion. Guests sat at plastic tables and chairs, which must have been rented for the occasion. The sound system, a must-have at all such occasions, broke our eardrums.

Guests were slow to arrive. It was to begin at around 16h00, but began around 19h00.

President Lono in the white shirt greeting guests.

The neighbors live in a tin sided dwelling.

This young man was to guide us out to our truck after the festivities. He forgot where we were parked. Thankfully Da Tarr had a general idea and we finally found it.

Inside the dirt floored inner court of the house where the two families will gather to formalize the betrothal. In traditional tribal marriage, after the betrothal the woman belongs to the man and his family and may live together until all the bride price (dote) is paid and the family satisfied with the gifts. But since both these families are members the couple will not live together until they are married civilly and the dote is paid. Both are returned missionaries and met when they were working for Da Tarr.

The sound system operator had some problems which he finally fixed. 

Table settings were artfully arranged.

Long suffering guests.

The generator for the sound system and one light bulb. Through this location the groom will appear with his entourage bringing the gifts and a goat to be presented to the bride's family.

More guests arrive and the groom has arrived and taken his place.

The gifts are set by the entrance to the inner courtyard and the goat tethered.

The gifts.

A happy guest.

Cousins of the bride come to taunt and tease the suitor. Later they will come to dance and tease him to see if he will choose one of them or if he will still choose his intended.

Assembled family members of the bride. They are parents and uncles and aunts who have all participated in the negotiations that have led up to this final meeting where all will be formalized.

A "master of ceremonies" has been selected from among the bride's relatives to conduct the even. He announces the procedure, sees that a prayer is offered, then attendees are introduced. We were introduced as being missionaries for public affairs attending our first betrothal ceremony. No one objected or seemed the least bit uncomfortable with our presence.

President Lono, the groom's older brother, representing the deceased father, answers the question, "Why have these people, not of our family, come here tonight?" He replies that as promised previously we have come to ask for the hand of their daughter in marriage and to unite the two families. We had an interpreter because the formalities are conducted all in Lingala, so what we know is abbreviated.

Father of the bride to be.

Announcing that it is time to bring the gifts requested by the bride's family to inspect their acceptability. Normally a woman's skirt would be placed on the ground to receive the gifts, but a mat will be used.

The mat is brought out and laid out where all can see.

The gifts are brought in.

One by one they are laid out in two places, one for the father and one for the mother. A suit, shoes, belts, socks, ties and a white shirt for the father. Also a radio and some minor items.

Bolts of cloth, shoes, cooking oil and sundry kitchen items for the mother.

Bags of rice, sugar, flour, a large cooking pot and a basin and some money complete the gifts for the mother.

The mother approaches and examines the cloth to determine the quality and carefully looks at the label on the bolts of cloth, which she pronounces high quality, as was expected. She is satisfied.

The mother examining the cloth.

The female goat is presented as a symbol of fertility and hopes of providing offspring from the marriage.

After the gifts are presented a few men from each family adjourn to receive the bride price, or part of it, if the young man is unable to pay all at once. When they return the envelope with the money is placed on the pile of gifts. Then the family is asked if they accept it. Any who are dissatisfied can try to up the amount. An Aunt arises and declares that the bride is in a far away place and must be flown in for the occasion and it is expensive so they need money for an airline ticket. There is much joking and objection from the groom's family and good natured banter, until one of his uncles places a little more money on the pile. The Aunt complains it is not enough but they will negotiate with the pilot to see if he will accept a partially paid ticket. Then everyone is satisfied.

Brother Lono and our interpreter, an assistant professor at the University. He is a professor of French and speaks wonderful French.

The groom is brought in looking very grim.

He stands for the entrance of the cousins and his proposed fiancee.

The cousins dance and tease, the bride to be is elegantly dressed and coiffed.

The joy is evident. She must now declare that she accepts the groom as her fiance by delivering the letter with the bride price to her father.

Others join in.

The moment is about to arrive.

The moderator calls all to order and sends the cousins away.

The bride takes the envelope...

Kneels before her father and delivers the envelope indicating her acceptance of her suitor.

The father then presents his daughter's hand to the young man.

Hugs and kisses ensue.

The father exclaims his approval.

Everyone is in agreement and photos begin.

Everyone is invited to eat before returning. We are out past our curfew so we are excused by our friends and given a bottle of water for the road.

The couple sits and the cousins gather at the back.

President Lono and the bride's father greet one another to recognize the two families are now connected.

Outside where the guests are gathered the couple greets them.

President Lono introduced us to his mother.

Many photos are taken of the happy couple.

Many photos.

Our interpreter wearing a Congolese shirt worn for formal events. We departed in the dark with a 15 year old youth to guide us back to a main street where we could find our way home. The boy descended several kilometers from home after 20h00 and would take a taxi home.